New Years Resolutions…KIDDING. I’m talking about boxes.

Who am I? Can you describe me?

The answer depends on who is evaluating me, the way you know me and your past experience.

One day I could be

A. The cool mom taking their kids to a drag show

B. The mom messing their kids up so much they will be keeping therapists in business for the foreseeable future.

One night I could be

A. The fun 38 year old supporting their friends and appreciating performance art

B. A cis gender straight woman in a place she doesn’t belong.

We are all put into boxes. Problem is we don’t all belong in the boxes we are put in–also we are put into different categories by different people. So many boxes, so many categories, it’s like one overly confusing Christmas morning.

Here’s the thing…you might not know where I came from when you are choosing my box. What boxes are my family in? This all affects who we are which makes us so much harder to categorize.

I am a stay at home Mom in suburbia with a husband who is a doctor, have two kids, a boy and a girl, cats and a dog and a white picket fence. You should hate me by now. I’m clearly privileged and lead a charmed life.

Now I’m all those things but I grew up with cousins who were Cambodian refugees, one of the only Jews in my surrounding area and am living with OCD. Do I seem like the same person? Maybe, but maybe one with more depth.

I may seem like the same person as the next middle class suburban Mom but maybe I don’t entirely fit the stereotype. Maybe you don’t either. (Maybe your not even a middle class suburban house wife. I don’t know which one of you is currently reading this!) In reality we are all come from different places, backgrounds, and experiences. The straight girl at the gay bar may have gay parents or siblings, the white picket fence may be surrounding a family who escaped from a war torn country. You just don’t know those little pieces of the puzzle that make us who we are and connect us to those who you least expect to be connected with.

So before you decide which boxes people belong in make sure you do your research. Better yet leave them unboxed, it’s better for the environment.